I submitted my last application yesterday. I don't quite know what to do with myself, to be honest. For the last month I have been in underground application mode, and for the 2 months before that I was in underground GMAT mode. For the month or so before that, I was in underground application mode because I was initially planning on applying R1 (see prior posts for details).
In short, I haven't been a regular person since the summer of 2009. I have a list of things I need to do, things like appointments and cleaning and errands that never end. Most importantly, I can't wait to see everyone again...up to this point, all people who were not my family, boyfriend or co-workers pretty much kept up with me via text or facebook. Yikes.
I also need to prepare for the Cornell interview, but luckily I have a couple of weeks for that. I also need to spend some quality time with my boyfriend, as in a cruelly ironic twist, he will likely have to move away soon, just as I am finally able to have a life. Ugh.
Some comments on the actual applications (I'm trying to forget about them!)...
1) My last application was decidedly the best one, from an essay perspective (HBS). I didn't love the story combination I ended up with - wanted more professional stories to fit in, but they didn't - though I think that what I turned in was the best I could do with what I had to work with. Also, I think my writing was infinitely better, probably because I was finally used to writing about myself (something I - and probably a lot of other people - struggle with).
2) I think doing my applications in a relatively short period of time was better for me. It obviously depends on your style, but for me, having extra time just makes me second guess myself and over-edit, resulting in essays that actually sound a bit odd because they have too much stuck in. For instance, "hey, I should put something in about teamwork here, let me just stick this sentence about it in the middle of this story." Yeah, that doesn't work. At least not for me. Sounds weird. Being forced to put my best work on the page, without that little voice in my head saying "it's ok, you have plenty of time" made me both more effective and more efficient. Again, I would think that this would vary by personality.
3) So, funny thing. I was sure enough of myself to apply to the top schools, worked my tail off to put my best foot forward, and nothing has changed to alter my opinion on that. However, all I can think about now is whether or not I'm really "top school material." I know that there is no formula for this or any way of deciphering really, and it certainly varies by top school. It's just a "holy crap I just turned in my applications and EVERYONE knows and what if I don't get in anywhere??" irrational insecurity that seems to have popped up for me now that everything has been turned in and I no longer have any control. Fun.
So, goal for the next part of this process: I will not obsess about each interview notification date that comes up. For one thing, I don't have the time to keep track of six schools worth of dates. For another, I've given enough of my life to this process over the last several months (years?)...there is no need for me to give more of it stressing unless it's prepping for an interview or something else tangible. Most importantly, I will NOT read the BW forums or any other that will just make me uber-paranoid over something that I can't control at this point.
Will I keep those? I hope so, but maybe not. Part of what I have loved about this process is connecting with people from all over the world who are in this with me via blogs, forums etc, so in those tense moments on decision days, I can't say that I won't fall back into what's comfortable and read the forums to remind myself that I'm not in this alone. We'll see how it goes.
Good luck, fellow R2s!
Posted in:
essays,
harvard
on
Monday, January 18, 2010
at
at
10:36 PM
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